Expert Reveals Why MEN Need Time Away From FAMILY

Could taking time away from your family actually make you a better husband and father? Join us as we explore the surprising benefits of men stepping out of their domestic roles to rediscover adventure, purpose, and camaraderie. We tackle the often-ignored downside of being overly domesticated and how a constant presence at home can sap vitality and motivation. Understand why it’s crucial for men to foster friendships and mutual encouragement with other men, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling family dynamic.

We delve into how engaging in activities like sports, outdoor adventures, or simply catching up with friends can recharge men, making them more present and engaged when they return home. This episode encourages honest family conversations about the necessity for personal time and provides practical advice on how to plan these activities together. By supporting each other's need for personal space, families can strengthen their resilience and vitality, ultimately benefiting everyone involved. Tune in to find out how to make these changes and improve your family life.

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Mentoring - Management - Consulting

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Importance of Men's Time Away
• 5:40 The Benefits of Men's Time Away

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I'm going to say something really unpopular on today's video, but make sure you watch all the way to the end, because I'm going to explain why it's so important for men. Here's the truth. All men need to spend time away from their family, from their wife and their children. Not everybody's going to love that truth. Not everybody's going to like that idea. Some men are guilty of the fact that they already spend too much time away from their family. I'm not talking to that man. I'm talking to the man who's stuck in the house, too scared to leave, afraid to offend anybody, doesn't want to step on anybody's toes, but because he's living in that mode, actually he's dying on the inside. Men, if that's you, I want to encourage you and I want to challenge you to realise that you were not designed for just being domesticated all your days. Don't get me wrong. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I do chores, I go and help with the groceries, I cooked dinner last night. I'm into all those things. But there is no way on planet Earth I am going to subscribe to a narrative that suggests that I should become a domesticated beast. It's not how I was wired and it's not how you were wired. You see, here's what happens If our men get themselves into a situation where they become so domesticated and maybe that's a poor choice of words, I don't know but the picture that I'm painting is the man who never leaves the house. He feels so imprisoned. He's scared to leave the house in case he gets grief in return from his wife or his children. There's so much pressure going on around him. There's a vibe that comes out every time he wants to catch up with a friend. There's a vibe if he doesn't come straight home from work. There's a vibe and a feeling in the air if he dares stay two minutes longer after the football game. Men are suffering badly when they curtsy to this kind of pressure. Men, it's not good for you, you weren't wired for it and it will bring you down in the end. You see, here's the truth. Men need to be around other men in the absence of women and children. There's the unpopular opinion. I don't mind if it's unpopular or not.

Speaker 1: 2:12

I have seen through almost three decades of working with families and helping people to understand that there are multiple levels of relationships that we all need in our life and men need to be in connection with other strong men to spur one another on to help encourage each other with the pressures they're dealing with and to be inspired by being in the company of other men who are kicking goals and having success. Men, you have to have time away from your family. You've got to get positive. You have to have time away from your family. You've got to get positive, recreational, regular time away from your wife and children.

Speaker 1: 2:50

Now I've already covered it, but I'll say it again there are some men who are constantly away from their family. That man needs to turn it around and get the balance back in the other direction. But there are also some women, some wives, some partners, who actually have learned to become too controlling and they want their man to do as they're told and stay where they are. Ladies, if you've got enough courage and spine to hear it from me, I need to let you know that if you keep that up, you're killing him on the inside, because the man that you're with, the man that you love, was not designed for staying in a domestic context 24-7. His appetite will go down and I'm not talking about the food appetite, the appetite for life. His desire for risk and adventure and conquest will go down. His literal testosterone levels will drop at a thousand miles an hour if he stays in a context where he's not spurred on by other strong men.

Speaker 1: 3:48

I don't know what might be keeping some men in that space. I could guess at a few things. But if you're in that situation, you've got to have some uncomfortable conversations in your family setting to start switching that around. Some of you ladies watching might say, well, I never get to go out. Well, the same advice applies to you. You might need to have some uncomfortable conversations so that as a team, you work together and say, hey, we both need time away from the domestic context, we need to retain friendships, we need to retain recreation, we need to retain hobbies, we need to retain the enjoyment of life away from our responsibilities. But I'm speaking specifically to men here that when men let go of that time away from family, that time outside of the home, adventure and conquest and purpose and courage and faith all of these positive traits begin to dwindle and they become like lazy muscles that can't lift any load.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Men, I'm challenging you, I'm encouraging you If you are stuck in a domestic context because you've allowed yourself to be dictated to by this false narrative that you must be around the family home 24-7 and never leave. You've got to do something to break out of that rut. It will kill you on the inside. I'm not suggesting for a moment that you suddenly leave the house and go out with your mates seven nights a week. That would be craziness in the other direction. What I am suggesting is you've got to get some regular time. Spend some time with mates, spend some time with mentors, go and be in the company of other men that you can learn from and be inspired by. I promise you because I know it by experience in my own life. I know it by observation, watching and helping hundreds of other men achieve the same result.

Speaker 1: 5:40

When men get this opportunity of contrast, where they can be outside of the domestic context and do some things that are a bit more adventurous, a little bit more wild within the law, within the realms of what is sensible, but a bit more out in the wild, when men expose themselves to these opportunities, they always without fail these opportunities, they always without fail, end up better husbands, better fathers, better friends, better employees, better business owners, better everything. It's hard to argue with the statistical and anecdotal proof that men who get out of a domestic context in the right quantity of time at the right time with the right company, always improve as men. So, men, I'm challenging you, I'm trying to inspire you, I'm trying to encourage you. Have the uncomfortable conversations with your family, if you haven't done so, and say guys, I'm not trying to get away from you, I'm trying to invest in me so that when I am with you, I've got more to give and I can benefit you even better than I used to do.

Speaker 1: 6:45

If you're a wife or a partner, or maybe even a child, part of a family, that's putting pressure on the man in your home to never leave the house. I'm urging you, I'm appealing to you on behalf of men who are jumping off bridges. Now, I'm not blaming you. Don't misread me, don't misinterpret me, don't jump in the comments and abuse me. I'm not saying that the family environment is a problem for men. I'm saying that when men never get out of the family home, it adds to the other existing layers of pressure and loss of purpose and loss of enjoyment, and our men are losing hope at a thousand miles an hour.

Speaker 1: 7:24

One of the greatest things that any wife, any partner, any family can do for the man that they care about is say to them find some things you enjoy and go and do them. If it's outdoor stuff, if it's sport, if it's learning, if it's catching up with brothers and cousins, go do it. Let's put it in the diary, let's plan it, let's agree on it together, but let's definitely both do it. And if you would live that way, I promise you your man will come back to the family home a better husband, a better dad, more energized and feeling like he's still got that strength and resilience and virility of the man that he really should be all of his days. I know it's unpopular, but I promise you, as I said, I've watched it, I've lived it. I'm still helping men do it today. Men who get stuck in the family home and never take time out always start to fade on the inside and it ends up in bad places. So, men, go, get to it. Go and find some time outside the family home.