MEN, Take Back Control of Your Life!

Feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of life and lacking encouragement? We're here to help. Join us as we explore the immense challenges men face today, particularly the crushing weight of high expectations paired with minimal support. This episode is dedicated to reigniting your passion for personal growth, no matter your age or stage in life. We share practical advice for maintaining a growth mindset, even when responsibilities multiply and time becomes scarce. Whether you're navigating your 20s, 30s, or beyond, it's vital to focus on your own development to stave off burnout and live a balanced life.

From young adulthood to the wisdom-filled age of 70 and above, we cover how to keep your appetite for growth alive. Discover why adventure, risk, and personal fulfillment matter at every age, and why it's essential not to sideline your own needs. We discuss the role of older generations as mentors to inspire and guide the younger ones. Let’s ensure that, as men, we don’t put ourselves last. This conversation is filled with insights and real-world experiences designed to empower you to keep pushing forward, learning, and growing, regardless of where you currently stand on life’s journey.

APG Elite
Mentoring - Management - Consulting

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So, fellas, I wanted to, I just wanted to share a few thoughts that have been on my mind. As you know, if you've been watching the channel, you know that I'm trying to focus on men's issues and challenges that men are going through, which, very sadly, are increasing in today's world. Men are under a lot of pressure for all kinds of reasons and it's not often acknowledged, sadly, and so a big part of the motivation for me on this channel is to try and encourage you guys, maybe offer some wisdom, offer some thoughts, maybe share some experiences that I've been through that might help you. You take from it something that works. If it doesn't, that's okay too.

Speaker 1: 0:47

But I had this thought today that I just think a lot of men today are really struggling, not just because of the external circumstances, which is bringing pressure, but also, I think men are living in a time of very, very high pressure but also compounded by very, very low encouragement. In my business and in my working life, I get the chance to talk to men of all ages, all backgrounds, different vocations you name it Men from every sort of experience of life. Experience of life, and one of the most common patterns that I'm hearing from men all the time is, they don't have a voice in their world encouraging them, and so I really want to try and fill the tank a little bit on that front for guys, if I can, and I want to do that with just one simple thought today, and that is I want you to give yourself permission to retain personal growth appetite. What I mean by that is as you get older and as you become more responsible, you know, especially as you leave your 20s, get into your 30s, life tends to get a bit more serious. Many of you guys watching this video will be married or partnered. You probably have children, you've got big responsibilities at work, you've got money pressures, you might be trying to pay off a house and afford your bills. It really is the definition of a full plate, and it's a lot to deal with.

Speaker 1: 2:20

And what I find happens to a lot of guys in that situation is, as your available time begins to shrink and as your output towards other people and other things increase, a lot of guys tend to lose their grip on taking care of their own personal growth and so kind of put themselves in last position, which, to a certain extent, is noble and is one of the roles that men play, especially as husbands and fathers and protectors and providers. We do that. That's what we're called to do. If you put yourself completely last and you don't actually retain your grip on personal growth, it's a really bad situation you're going to get yourself into, because what you find happens especially as you head towards middle age. I'm 49, turning 50 in January, which I'm not really thrilled about, if I'm being honest, but it's happening and I'm deep into middle age and I'm staring down the prospect of, you know, in the next decade, heading into the third third of my life, if you like, but I know that on the channel now we've got guys who watching who are in their late teens 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and above. I just want to really encourage guys in all those age brackets maybe if you're in your 20s and 30s, to be on guard about what I'm talking about today. And if you're in your 40s and 50s, my encouragement to you guys would be to evaluate your own situation and look at your own life in regards to personal growth and maybe, if you're in the 60s and 70s, perhaps you've got a role to play now where you can turn around and encourage some of the younger brothers and help them to learn from your lessons and your experiences, to say, hey, whatever you do, don't give up on personal growth, don't give up on learning, don't give up on experimenting, don't give up on experimenting.

Speaker 1: 4:24

You know, I recently did an episode on the channel about the fact that adventure and risk and conquest uh come back into a guy's life in middle age, which if you don't know that that happens and if you're not ready for it, it turns into quite a scary prospect because you know, in your teens and in your 20s and your 30s you don't have to really do a lot to experience risk and adventure and conquest. It's kind of part of the season of your life. But as your life gets responsible and more busy, those three elements tend to go underground for a while. But the thing that a lot of guys don't understand is they don't disappear, they just go underground for a while and typically what happens is five or seven or ten years or so into middle age and deep responsibility, just like a green shoot of a plant coming up through the soil, these three things want to pop their head back up and re-emerge in your life again and if you're not ready for that, it really can cause some big problems for you and your family because, as we've seen many times guys in middle age who suddenly decide to regain their grip on adventure and risk and all the rest of it they can end up making some silly choices.

Speaker 1: 5:42

And so one of the things that can have you ready for that and just be better for you overall is if you hold on to your willingness and your desire for personal growth, and that's in all areas really. That's in your physical health, that's in your desire to advance in your career, that's in your learning and your understanding, challenging yourself to keep on growing your skill set, putting yourself in environments where there are smarter people than you so that you get challenged to sharpen up your own game. It's such an important thing for us men to do, especially as we age, to not give up on growth, because if we do, what happens is our soul very quickly becomes sedentary and it just settles down into this very calm set and forget kind of lifestyle. But the problem is we very quickly get stuck in stagnancy and lack of growth and then being dormant, and that breeds anxiety and depression and frustration, and I guess what I'm trying to get at today, with all of you guys watching and listening is there is no neutral gear really is what I'm trying to say. You're either growing or you're starting to shrink back, and so I don't think personal growth and development needs a whole lot of you know apologetic language from me to pitch its argument.

Speaker 1: 7:14

I think personal growth and development stands on its own two feet pretty well, but I guess I'm trying to encourage you to stay on that path, but also trying to warn all of us, even myself be careful of backing off from personal growth, because we are easily deceived into the notion that we can just coast in neutral for a while. A little bit, like you know, I'm coming down a pretty steep hill on my drive at the moment. I could bang the shifter into neutral and just roll down the hill. But when we do that in our own lives and our relationship with personal growth and development, it actually has the opposite effect, because the truth of the matter is there isn't a neutral gear. There's really only growing forward and going forward, and if we stop that, we actually begin to engage a mode where we start to shrink and I talk to middle-aged men especially a, and I see signs of it in them.

Speaker 1: 8:14

That scares me for their sake. I see them beginning to withdraw from their social settings. I see them beginning to settle for the role they have at work instead of pushing for that promotion. I see them talking to less people, travelling shorter distances away from their home. These are all signs that the man's world is potentially shrinking and getting smaller and, whilst it might feel comfortable, it's actually really dangerous for his manhood because, as men, we are designed, as I said, for adventure, taking risks, conquest, and all of that involves us retaining our strength, continuing to grow and really having an appetite to keep on growing.

Speaker 1: 9:03

And for me, as I'm in the stage of life that I'm in now, I'm seriously incentivized because I've got a 10-year-old son. I've got an almost 18-year-old daughter as well. Particularly for my son, as it's my responsibility to raise him into a man, I want to make sure that he sees his own dad not giving up on growth. I want him to watch his own dad taking on challenges and staying in the fight and not giving up on life and shrinking back and living a small experience. It's crucial for me that he sees me continuing to grow, continuing to move forward, and so I just want to encourage you guys with that thought.

Speaker 1: 9:44

Maybe, as I said, if you're in your 20s and 30s, this will be a good thing for you to chat to your own peer group about and just get each other ready for the fact that, as you get older, you actually have to work more intentionally on your personal growth and development. If you're in middle age, like me, in your 40s and 50s, maybe it's a good time for an evaluation and ask yourself that question have I started backing away from adventure and risk and new situations and being challenged? And maybe, if that's the case, you can do something about it? If you're in your 60s and 70s and older, hopefully you're one of those rare guys that is still growing even at that age, and staying fit, staying healthy, keeping your mind sharp, and if that's the case, we need you, we need your voice, we really do. We need the guys in 60s and 70s and above. You're not finished with, we're not ready to chuck you out. You're not useless at all. We actually need you to turn around and speak to the rest of the generations and say hey, guys, it's possible to stay on mission and stay growing through all the phases and stages of your life.

Speaker 1: 10:54

I'd love to hear from you. Maybe you could drop a comment down below Tell me where you're at on the journey. Has growth become challenging for you? Has the pressure and the responsibility kind of snuffed that flame out a little bit? Why don't you let me know in the comments below If you haven't subscribed yet, love you to do that and follow along with the journey of the channel. And, of course, if there's a subject or a conversation that you would love to hear some more about, please make sure you let me know that, because I will definitely read that and respond to you and try to find a way to incorporate that in future episodes. Anyway, it's a beautiful day here where I am on the South Coast in New South Wales. Hopefully you're having a good day, whatever you're up to. Thanks for taking the time to drop in and join the conversation and I'll see you in an episode real soon. Cheers, bye.