Andrew Gray Podcast
Dedicated to empowering men (especially middle-aged men) to become everything they were destined for!
Totally focused on strengthening the Inner-Life Health & Sustainability of all men, regardless of age, education, background or status.
For far too long Masculinity has been vilified as some kind of societal scourge, when in fact the complete opposite is the truth. Masculinity was created to protect, provide, strengthen and empower every person, and every aspect of our communities.
This channel exists to play a part in the renaissance of healthy masculinity.
My mission is to reach the men who feel like 'dead men walking' and help to restore their hope, so they are re-calibrated to their purpose and calling in life!
Andrew Gray Podcast
Hopes, Fears & the Power of Purpose for MEN!
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the pressure to achieve and the fear of failure? In this compelling episode of our podcast, we dive deep into the unspoken hopes and anxieties that men navigate daily. First, we unpack "The Currency of Hope," where we explore how societal expectations often overshadow genuine joy and hope. Drawing from a poignant study of war survivors, we highlight the paradox of living in an era of abundance while grappling with widespread dissatisfaction and mental health struggles. Join us as we emphasize the essential value of simple pleasures and the necessity of reconnecting with fundamental human needs like nature, sunlight, and real interpersonal connections.
Moving forward, we venture into "Finding Purpose in Manhood," discussing the importance of living a life filled with purpose and meaning. We address the fear of failure and its potential impact on relationships and explore how understanding one's "why" can drive us through life's challenges. Lastly, in "Uncovering Self-Discovery and Identity," we reflect on personal experiences of adapting to our environments and how these changes shape our identities over time. Through a heartfelt reflection on a moment with my 10-year-old son, we delve into the transformative journey of rediscovering our true selves. Tune in for a thought-provoking and introspective discussion that will leave you contemplating your own path to a fulfilled life.
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What do men hope for? What are some of the things that maybe they don't verbalise, but we know it's in there.
Speaker 2:I think one of the big things is I hope I don't screw up, right. I think there's a bunch of guys in society who are terrified of screwing it up and then screw it up you know families and divorces and you know whatever and then beat themselves up because they screwed up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's. Yeah, so, and I think you touched on it right at the beginning of the section of the currency of hope. You know that, I think you know the looking forward to the joy of something is actually not really prevalent in society much at the moment. It's more a negative of you know what you were talking about before, just work and get it done and achieve, and it's sort of a negative of you know what you were talking about before, just work and get it done and achieve, and it's sort of a negative propulsion rather than this reaching forward into the joy, right, is that because we have, as a society, we have rebalanced and therefore unbalanced, the priority schedule.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think we're in a peculiar age where there is abundance. Yes, like like you you just said it earlier you can. In the palm of your hand, you can see what everyone's doing. You have a machine that is extraordinary.
Speaker 2:I read a study this is years ago now I read a study of a. They interviewed a group of people who had been through a war and society broke down and right down to the point where there wasn't enough food to eat, there wasn't enough clothes to wear, like all the trappings of society were gone. And then they reconnected with these people, like 15 years after the war, where the society had re-established itself, and interviewed them about what they thought about the war and there was the horror of the war, but there were quite a few people who reflected back a longing for the war and it was the fact that all the trappings of society had been removed and the fundamental things of if you had food, you would share it with someone else Right, and people had connected on a human level Right, and they weren't striving for jobs or anything, because there were no jobs and there wasn't any food and there wasn't any clothes. And then they re-established the society and all these things came back and there was this longing for this human connection of you know we're equals, we're people, and it really struck me as like I think we've got something wrong here. Yeah, wow, you know we're not advocating war or anything like that, and you know we do live in a safe, stable society that has all the trappings, yes, and yet what was it?
Speaker 2:Eight guys a day are killing themselves. Eight guys a day.
Speaker 2:You know the kids are depressed and distraught and you know, and this hoping, and this yearning, this longing for things that actually don't satisfy don't matter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you're right and I had not heard that. It's not an anecdote, but those reflections on case studies from war. It is a fascinating dynamic and phenomenon in the soul of humanity, isn't it, which probably does give lessons for us, and it's a little bit cliche. But simple pleasures, life's treasures, they used to say. Maybe it's never been more true and maybe this is why, you know, in the mental health coaching space we're seeing a renaissance of simple things like get sunlight, go for a walk in fresh air, get in nature. Like get sunlight, go for a walk in fresh air, get in nature, things that perhaps through the 80s and 90s they were regarded as weak expressions because they weren't stoic enough. But actually, maybe and hopefully, we're waking up again to the fact that, no, they actually were always powerful, but we lost our sights on them. What do you other guys think? What are men hopeful? What do they worry about? What do you hope for? What do you worry about?
Speaker 3:I hope to be a success in life, not just career-wise and providing for your family, but you mentioned before too, making a difference to people.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Making you know Make an impact. Whenever God decides to take me home, my son and my daughters look to me and go proud of Dad.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 3:You know you touched on not messing it up, Right? I think the other end of it is we want to be successful, sure, yeah. So the worst fear in my life is if I stuffed it up so much that my wife and my kids would look and go. Man, dad really messed that up, I think that's. And it doesn't help for people in environments that have been broken. That's right. Or haven't, you know, had the benefit of having a father or mother? That's a whole other layer in society that makes it really challenging. Because you know where we have church at the moment, in Miller. It's just completely broken society, right? And you know, you see the men come in and they just hope to survive for tomorrow. Wow, you know, you can see it, yes, and it's just a cycle that they're going through in life. It's generational. On the other side, on, the other scale.
Speaker 3:So I think men hope to be successful.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Not to mess it up. Yep and make a difference to those around us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting what you say there about some guys who their hope is make it to tomorrow. Yeah, which shines a lot on the fact that it's a relative question, isn't it? Depending on your start point?
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess for me it's I don't know. I want my life to mean something, right? You know, I don't just want to live this mundane life and then get to the end of my days and go well, what was it all about? Yes, so I guess I like I try to live my life in a way that I want to do something with my life.
Speaker 1:I want it to mean something and have a purpose whatever that may be.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I don't want to live in a purposeless position of like just trying to get through the day. Yeah, although some days are like that, some days you go.
Speaker 3:Oh man, I just can't wait for the afternoon Sure. But that's life, that's right.
Speaker 4:But, yeah, like generally though, though really just wanting to yes, there's more to life than what I'm currently doing or what I'm currently Totally when I'm currently at.
Speaker 1:Again, I think to me. I think that's hardwired into manhood. We could easily say it's hardwired into humanity and it is. We're shining more of a light on the fact that it's hardwired into manhood, light on the fact that it's hardwired into manhood, this needing to have a sense of purpose and a sense of meaning. Yeah, I talk to guys a lot and a lot of the things that I'm writing and recording and so forth right now are oriented around that idea of understanding your why is the way that I phrase it, which is you know what is the thing that gets me out of bed?
Speaker 1:yeah, okay, you can have your goals, you can have your things on your financial chart and there's nothing wrong with those things. But the real priority is who is your? Why, yeah, why are you putting up with all the struggle? Who is the reason on the end of that? I think a lot of guys. They've lost that circumstantially, or they've lost their grip on that because their their sight has been distracted, yeah, to other things and they've got to come back full circle to that stuff.
Speaker 1:I know, for me personally, I do get into that space. I'm, you know, in some of the old language I'm regarded as a choleric personality, which you, you know, a type one personality, supposedly very driven, um, and to some extent I am um, but I think I've been, I think I've learned contextually and environmentally to be a driven person. I had a bizarre and eye-opening experience about six months ago when I was watching my own son, who's 10, and I was just observing his nature and his likes and dislikes and his wiring and all the rest of it, and I, before I had the chance to think about it and filter it. It came out of my mouth and I said to my wife I think I used to be more like him as a boy, and I heard myself say it, and then I shoved it down into a dark corner because I thought I haven't got time to deal with that today. But what I was saying was I've learned to become. What I was admitting to was I've learned to become a driven person and I've learned by my environment to push harder than I probably should have for purpose and meaning and all these things.
Speaker 1:When I think, as I try to reflect back on it, I think I was, as an 8, 9, 10, 11-year-old, more of a creative than I want to admit in my middle years, because I'm watching my own son now and I'm marvelling at his, first of all, his grip on language and his love of animals and nature and creating and making, and we used to look at him and go, who's this kid? Where did he come from? But actually what I was observing was the environmental shift in myself as I've pushed into all the stuff we've talked about tonight. And so I think guys trying to come back to distilling it to simple stuff matters, having a simple why and trying not to get caught up in all the comparison thing that we've talked about and all of those societal pressures is a big deal.
